When the "I Ate Your Halloween Candy" videos were making the rounds these last few years, I was disturbed by them. I thought it a cruel prank to play on little kids by the people in their lives that they were supposed to trust for their physical and emotional safety. Everyone, at times, doesn't follow through with what they said they would do, or inadvertently misguides someone, but I would hope they would step up to apologize and try to remedy the situation. Deliberately lying to your children, however, seems to be something different. How do you deal with having your trust in your parents broken by them?
I've been thinking about this as Christmas approaches, and what we're going to tell my one-month-old daughter about Santa Claus. The struggle I have is that the story of Santa Claus is everywhere, yet I do not want to lie about Santa. I do not want my daughter to learn that she cannot trust me to be honest with her.
I haven't thought much about exactly what I think Santa Claus is, since I know there's no way a large, jolly guy would be able to squeeze down a chimney, never mind the fact that I don't know a single man who would voluntarily dress in a fuzzy red suit. As I contemplated this, I decided that he stands for the generosity of giving to others, without the need to be given something back in return. He can also be the spirit of receiving, with graciousness and gratitude, without feeling the obligation to reciprocate. Santa Claus was in action on Friday, when I went through the drive-thru at Starbucks and discovered that the person in front of me had paid for my coffee and breakfast. Santa Claus is in action when someone anonymously leaves a pile of warm clothes, food, and gifts on a doorstep for a family who is struggling. He could be seen as a personification of the spirit of love, of giving, of oneness and community.
In a world in which we sometimes all struggle to give to others without wanting something back from the deal, and in which we all struggle to overcome our own feelings of lack and of wanting, Santa Claus can be a reminder that giving without an agenda is its own reward, and that receiving with gratitude is also its own reward. Maybe this is what I will tell my daughter about Santa Claus.
